Being feminine and being empowered goes hand in hand for me. As emancipated, career oriented, successful women we often times shift into our masculine side. All of us have a masculine and feminine side, there is nothing wrong with that. But we can only stand in our true power when we are able to be soft and feminine. That doesn't mean that people can just walk over us. No!
Being feminine means being connected to your essence. It means being strong in your own way (not in a masculine way), be receiving and authentic. Humans are naturally drawn to that feminine essence, as it embodies wisdom, compassion, abundance and love.
Have you ever been to a party or an event and this one woman comes in. Everybody looks at her. She is charismatic, she is in her center, and she knows who she is and what she wants. She doesn't care what anybody thinks of her. She let's others open her the door, she let's the waiters serve her. She smiles and receives. But she is the most powerful person in the room and everybody is drawn to her. She stands in her power, she embodies femininity.
However, most of us have forgotten how to be feminine. As women, we are constantly challenged to prove ourselves worthy. Society tells us how we should look, act and speak in order to be considered beautiful, desirable and acceptable. The masculine characteristics that are promoted by society and on TV are the traits that are the keys to success. Many of us were raised to be strong, smart and independent, but those masculine energies are not sustainable over the long haul if we don't replenish our female energies. We don't realize that they have the key to the power switch, and how to turn it on. Me included!
When I started my spiritual journey a couple of years ago, I had totally forgotten how to love myself and trust my inner voice. I was full of limiting beliefs, fear, self-judgment, and trauma that had been blocking my energy and had kept me stuck. I was a people pleaser, had zero self-esteem, and saw all women as competition. I was always hard on myself, beating myself up for everything.
At the peak of my unhappiness, I decided to hire a coach. She was a beautiful, strong woman who really owned it and showed me ways how I could learn to be more feminine. It wasn't easy to change sides and to start accepting myself for what I was and what I wasn't. It is still a journey today and as much as I feel I have come quiet far down the road from where I was, I feel there is still a long way to go.
There are some key practices that helped me most on my journey and that I want to share with you today:
- Self care – taking at least half an hour for myself each day made a big shift. Making a nice meal for myself, making chocolates (my passion), having a nice long shower or putting some body mousse on are ways to spoil myself.
- Dancing - I can forget everything around me and I feel totally sexy! Movement in general helps me to clear out old energies, feel grounded and peace within myself.
- Role models - Having women in my life that I could see as a feminine role model was important. Surrounding myself with friends who inspired me rather than energy vampires was another big one!
- Getting support - Support and community was a game changer and completely erased some of my old thinking patterns. I didn't have to do everything on my own, it was totally ok to ask for help. I started going to women only events and learned how powerful we are, even more so if we stand together and support each other, instead of putting us down.
- Living my passion – Finding out what my true purpose and passions are and stepping into that energy was truly inspiring and kept me moving in the right direction. The more you do what you love, the more positive you see everything, the easier it is to change your mindset and success on all level is what you get!
What are the benefits of being feminine?
- you have access to your inner power source
- you become more intuitive and take decisions not only with your brain, but also with your heart
- people respect you
- men adore you 😉
- you have the tools to replenish your energy (no burn outs)
- your energy is irresistible and contagious
- your self-esteem grows everyday
As a yoga teacher, I love teaching women groups. We dance, go on nature walks, meditate in circles, tap into our energies. Women are so open and receiving and have so much fun when they can just be. That is a main trait of the feminine, just be! Really, most of the time that is all we have to do and the world comes to us.
Recently, I was watching a TED talk about femininity. The speaker talked about a practice of an ancient indigenous to pray for abundance in their harvest. All the women from the village would go out before sunset and they would stand on the fields and move their hips in circles over the crops. They believed that their energy fertilized their fields. I actually cried, it was so beautiful. It inspired me even more to keep moving into my feminine and tap into that power.