It’s 7am. You sit blurry eyed on the edge of the bed clicking off your fog horn phone alarm. You stumble to the bathroom and flip the switch. Bam…there you are. Your reflection in the mirror. It begins…”wow look at those bags..my hair is horrendous…must stop using pore clogging moisturizer, look at this zit!…” Undressing to climb in the shower brings another slew of endless thoughts, “damn I need to hit the gym look at this cellulite…my butt is way too flat…” After a quick shower and more ruminating over what to wear…”cant wear those jeans because they make me look fat”…you flip on MTV while munching on an apple because you want to wear those jeans you just refused to put on. Flashes of ads for “The Hills” come on plummeting your self esteem a few notches…”if only I could be skinny and rich like them..”
Damn! You are running late to catch the train to work. You get to the station with just enough time to grab the latest celebrity rag mag before the whistle blows. After spending a half hour reading through articles covering everything from Lindsay Lohan’s drastic weight drop, to Oprah’s endless battle with carbs, to detailed outlines of celebs strict diets and bicep curl routines, you step into the office and are faced with… a mirror in the entry way. Depressed yet?
No wonder 8 million Americans suffer from eating disorders. 7 million women and 1 million men (the number of men is rising).
As a young woman living and working in the dance/pilates industry I have seen my fair share of eating disorders, ridiculously low self esteem, and horrible body image. Obviously there is a huge problem with how women and men view their bodies in general. Developing the mind/body connection is the secret to positive change. Here are my tried and true methods for cultivating stellar body image and boosting self esteem through awareness.
Cut Negative Self Talk: This means you must become aware of your thoughts. All you really have to do is listen. When you look in the mirror become an observer of your rambling mind. What is it saying? Is it negative/positive? The moment you become aware is the minute you can change the course of the slippery slope into low self esteem. Whenever a negative thought floats through the mind, stop it in it’s tracks and repeat a positive mantra. Try “I am beautiful, peaceful and I am enough.” Repeat this mantra over and over. Throughout the day watch the mind and see what you hear. The amount of self abuse you inflict on yourself daily will surprise you. We could all learn from Anna’s example.
Take Care Of The Body: Treat your body like the temple that it is. When you take a shower scrub with care. Smooth on lotion after and slip on some comfortable clothes. How you act towards the body directly reflects how you think about the body. Touch your body like you would touch a babies or someone you really care about. Again become aware of how you thrash your body around. Do you rush and scrub through the pleasure of a shower, only to pull on some ridiculously tight skinny jeans, push up bra, tight tank top and back breaking stilettos? All that tension and roughness transfers into the body as muscular tension and stress.
Feel The Body: The next time you hit the gym or step into yoga class learn to drop your thoughts at the door. Focus on the task at hand only. Exercise. Before you begin any workout stand still, take a few breaths, and draw your attention to how the body feels from the inside out. What muscles are tight or in pain? It will be different everyday! If thoughts come to mind gently let them float away as you draw your attention back to the body. Practice maintaining and cultivating this focus throughout your regular workout. You’ll find it increases the depth of the work helping you get more out of every move. Basically you are building the bridge between mind and body. When you actually start to feel and be aware of the body from the inside out you develop respect for it’s beauty!
Meditation: There is no better way to build the mind, body, spirit connection. Awareness of the body fused with meditation is a portal into present mindful living. Learn more about mindfulness and simple meditations here.
Strip Your Life Of Toxic Media: Toss out the celeb mags, InStyle, Cosmo and other garbage that makes money off your poor self image. Join me in turning off the tube for good!
Quit Using The Body As A Dumping Ground: The body is your physical manifestation. Don’t trash it! Dumping toxins like alcohol, cigarettes, pesticides, hormones, and chemicals into the cells of the body is showing complete disrespect. You are basically telling your body through your actions that you don’t care about it. You’d rather get high for a quick night of fun, then take care of the only thing you have. The body is all you have! It will only rebound so many times.
Learn As Much As You Can: Read, read, read, practice, and feel. The more one learns about the anatomy and make up of the body the more awe inspiring it becomes. Feeling and practicing awareness of the body in all daily activities breeds respect. When you are in awe of your human form you are less likely to trash it with toxins, and abuse it mentally.
As someone who has spent my life learning and developing a connection with my mind, body and spirit, I can tell you it will transform the way you see yourself and others. Good luck on your journey! Start right now.
This post was brought to you by Only In A Woman’s World.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for sharing about this powerful and extremely important subject.
I’ve found that out of all the things that play a role in effecting body image, past personal influence is the strongest. Often times we are taught that we are somehow not worth to be healthy and/or happy, whether by a parent or friend or whoever had an influence on us growing up. This is the kind of thing that requires some form of counseling to help untangle the lies and undo the damage.
This is such a complex subject. There are so many factors. You hit on a lot of great points, Amber. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insight with us. Eric
Thanks for this. It’s something I struggle with daily. As someone who has an eating disorder myself, I’ve been in and out of eating clinics and support groups who have offered the same advice. It’s so true, and it does help.
Thanks for another helpful reminder.
@ Eric- you are so right about past influences. I can’t tell you how many dancers I know who suffered under their “stage mom” telling them they need to loose weight. It absolutely makes me sick to my stomach. Undoing that damage is the battle.
@ Claire- thanks so much for sharing your story. Sending you much peace and love!
Thank you so much for touching on this topic. I feel like although it is sometimes mentioned in the dance world there truly isn’t enough support or information on this topic. In a field where we study and stare at our bodies in a mirror all day, image obsession and eating disorders should be touched on more heavily. This was one of the first things that I loved about S.F. when I moved here from L.A. I didn’t feel the same “body stress” that so many dancers (myself included) in L.A. struggle with.
From a young age societal images instills this idea that girls in particular have to look a certain way to be successful and be liked. We need to slowly change this and teach positivity early on in all fields.
@ Michelle- thanks for sharing your experience girl! I agree that the LA scene is horrible. I love SF for a similar reason. Body image is def not discussed ..even in college dance programs as we both know
@ Free Karma- Couldn’t agree more. It scares me to think that we are breeding a bunch of Paris Hilton’s in today’s MTV/celeb worshipping society. I look forward to hearing more from you!
This article offers some excellent advice but as you’ve all pointed out, past personal influences can really mess someone up.
I have an eating disorder. I’m ~125 pounds and 5′ 7″, and although I know I can say to myself, “Quit complaining, you’re fine and there are enough girls chasing after you to prove you aren’t as disgusting as you believe you are,” I have had too much mental abuse and previous experiences to do anything about it. And to top it off, that includes being instilled with the belief that i deserve to be miserable, so I haven’t made a single move towards rehabilitation. A 20 year old boy shouldn’t be teetering with 120 pounds…
Thank you for this, I really needed these reminders. I have been struggling with an eating disorder for over ten years now, it doesnt go away, its a day to day stuggle and hell even a moment to moment struggle. Eric take very small steps towards rehabilitation, sometimes its a very small baby step foward and what feels like a million backwards but each little step is building a foundation.
@Eric- No one deserves to be miserable! You, like everyone else has the ability in themselves to be extremely happy. Try quieting the mind through meditation and mindfulness and see what unravels. When you quiet the mind you no longer hear all those negative thoughts. I hope this helps.
@Meagan- thanks for sharing your story Meagan. I can imagine it’s a minute by minute struggle. I am glad you are taking steps to feel better. Keep plugging away and you’ll have relief soon!
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