It’s been about a month since I flew the coop. Left San Francisco for who knows how long and embarked on my first nomad adventure in Sydney, Australia. If I could carve my last month into one word it would be “growth.” A radical shift in my understanding of life. As excited as I was to make the leap into mobile living I had no idea what I was in for. In one day the small grasp I had on my life vanished. The tightly woven hour by hour schedule, my steadfast drive for perfection, my control over every aspect of my life, was ripped from me in one foul swoop. As the sun dawned on the other side of the world there I stood naked and exposed to infinite possibility.
A fresh beginning with no understanding of how to start. Big questions started to arise. The little things like setting up a phone, bank account, getting settled in my room with new roommates, were child’s play. It was the gargantuan questions that I was afraid to look at. I flailed for about two weeks. Trying to get my bearings. Good thing Sydney is similar to San Francisco and full of amazing people. Traveling and taking in this new place wasn’t my issue. I absolutely love traveling. Just walking down the street makes me happy.
Discovering stellar restaurants, strolling through cockatoo spotted parks, and bushwalking through blue mountains and hidden beaches was a piece of cake. What really freaked me out was the realization that this wasn’t a vacation…well maybe for a little while…but this was my life! What!!! Amazing in theory, but how the hell do I balance everything. Travel vs. dance vs. writing, vs. getting paid. What direction am I going, what is my plan?
As humans, when we are faced with unlimited possibilities we immediately want to start organizing. Labeling and planning how to navigate the stormy waters of the unknown. We don’t like not knowing. Figuring is our “evolved” mindset, but sometimes I wonder if it’s a hindrance more than an asset. So after all that thinking and worrying I smacked into reality. Slid down it’s lush green wall until I melted into a puddle of acceptance.
This is what I wanted. Why I had torn through the bars of my safe controlled existence in San Francisco and swam to freedom. I longed for this experience, but had to realize in the end that it’s not comfortable. It’s not safe. Comfortable = “Safe” (more like trapped) and that’s not what I had signed up for. I was sick of safe, sick of figuring, sick of knowing. Couldn’t make a decision to save my life! How do I structure my life…create it? Too many possibilities…how do I choose?
So I stopped dead in my tracks. Took a breath. Accepted what was happening. Accepted what is…what’s now. Clarity found me. All I knew and the only reason I had worked so hard in the past was to follow my passion for dance. It had worked for me thus far…pretty damn good considering my current lifestyle. I didn’t know how life would be on the other side. Would I still want to dance, or would I swap dance for the love of travel? What I realized is that what had driven me all along was still at the core of my being. It hadn’t been replaced or swept under the rug thanks to new circumstances. Dance is still what gets me up in the morning with a smile on my face.
So now my journey has a somewhat less ambiguous path. Go where dance is and figure it out. Follow what feels right at the moment. That’s my only plan! A new thing for a planning perfectionist like my old self. And I gotta tell you…it feels damn good.
The best advice I got from my closest friend was this….”just keep doing what you’re doing.” I’d like to think it’s really, “just keep being what you’re being.” The rest falls into place.
My question for you:
If you had to start all over what would you do? What path would you take? Because there will come a day when you decide you are unhappy in your given circumstances and that you want the hell out. If you are daring enough you will make the necessary move, but what then? When you are in charge of shaping your world where do you start?
Your Challenge: To take the plans out of your day. Make one day a week a day for freedom. Step out of your door like you would in a new world and just see where the day leads you. A great experiment.
photo source: Eva Monbert
