I arrived in Manuel Antonio a month ago to start my Epic Self Fellowship training. It had been a long time coming. I had been accepted to the program in November and spent a very long, dark and cold winter in Canada saving for an extended trip and preparing myself for what was to come.
There are many elements of the program that had got me on board. I am a nutritionist and yoga instructor. I have clients and run workshops. I had been trying to figure myself out for awhile but I always have a million and one great ideas that have the potential to blossom into beautiful programs and sellable tools but I kept feeling stuck. I felt like I was the proud owner of a 1000 piece puzzle in the image of my ideal life and I was struggling to put it together by myself.
When I stumbled upon the fellowship program I decided that it was absolutely for me. When I hit send on my application I felt about 95% sure that it was going to happen. It was time. Well an onslaught of back and forth emails and Skype calls later I was locked and loaded. Soon enough my bags were packed and I was en route to Nicaragua to soothe my soul with surf and sun before the hard work began in Costa Rica.
When I say hard work I mean HARD work. I came prepared to grind but in a different way. What was hardest for me was not the wonderfully challenging fitness classes, the headache of web design or even of relentless content production. The hardest for me was adjusting to my own expectations of both the program and of myself.
I can’t really say anymore what my expectations of the program were. I like to think that I came on board totally open to the experience but the reality is that after a month of being totally on my own schedule, free as a bird in Nicaragua, I was often challenged to be ‘on’ mentally when that is was the schedule asked of me.
This has been a major takeaway for me as a budding entrepreneur. The time is always now. When your livelihood depends on you doing the work that needs to be done you DO IT. Not later. Now. Resistance is futile they say. What has to be done will be done. It’s up to you whether it’s done kicking and screaming or skipping and whistling. I prefer a wee whistle myself.
My expectations of myself have been a whole other creature. I came ready to do the work and learn as much as I possibly could. Amber and Daniel taught me so much about what it takes to make it as an entrepreneur and gave me many tools to refine my skills and make the journey easier. One of the biggest things I’ve learned however, is how much I already know. I definitely don’t know it all, nor will I ever, but I realized that I have had what it takes to launch myself in the direction that I want to go for awhile now. I am ready and have been for much longer than I thought.
This experience taught me to believe in my own abilities. I know I can do certain things well but everyone who I spent time with in this past month exposed me to the fact some of these things i can do extremely well. I don’t say this to brag but rather to out myself. I am confident in my abilities but there has always been a little fearful voice that has told me that I’m not ready yet, that I need to learn more first, that I am not enough.
If this program has taught me anything it is that I am enough. I have what it takes to do the things I love and have them support me financially. The only thing standing between me and that version of myself that I have always aspired to be, is me.
So what is my biggest take away from this month?
Get out of my own damn way. I have a lot of light to shine on this world and right now I am the only who has ever been holding me back.
To ready about my co-fellow’s experience, head over here.
