A spiritual awakening isn’t something that happens over night. It hasn’t been that way for me anyway. Even using the word spiritual used to totally wig me out let alone the word God. I was just a straight shooting, fun time having “normal” girl. I went to university, partied when I felt like it, travelled the world and made new friends wherever I went. I flew by the seat of my pants and let the good times roll.
Something that was always consistent however was a deep knowing that I had the ability to really read people and scenarios. I could sense people’s underlying emotions, I often somehow knew things about total strangers and would be drawn to certain circumstances where a particular energy would just whip everything into line and lucky things seemed to happen. But to me, none of this was “spiritual” it was just the way things were.
The first time I ever really “woke up” was an incredibly rude awakening. I was 23 and living in Bali. I used to smoke and drink like a pirate but at this particular time I had a chest infection and couldn’t smoke. So there I was, hanging out at my local watering hole with a drink in my left hand as normal and another drink in my right had to give it something to do due to the lack of cigarette. I was extremely anxious and realized that I was sipping way too fast for my own good. Anytime I would put one or both drinks down my hands raced for a new activity. I would bounce around from the dance floor to the bathroom, instigate random conversations or shuffle through my pockets for my lipgloss or cellphone as if they were my lifelines.
All of a sudden I experienced an intense desire to put down my drinks and to rest my arms at my sides despite the overwhelming discomfort of my rising anxiety. Something told me to take a deep breath in and a deep breath out and in an instant time slowed down. As I looked around me at my best friends in my favourite bar I had a commanding voice tell me that I did not like these people and I hated this place. Upon this revelation I felt totally winded and utterly nauseous and it had nothing to do with the booze or the chest infection. It felt so horrible because I knew that it was true. It was like someone flicked the lights on to my own consciousness.
This experience marked the real beginning of my spiritual awakening. From this moment forward I experienced anxiety and learned to heal from it. I felt totally lost and would secretly be begging for help in my own head and out of nowhere teachers would arrive in the form of new friends or helpful strangers, each giving me valuable tools for my journey.
Knowing that I needed to control the exhausting stream of thoughts in my own mind I started practicing yoga as a form of moving meditation. Yoga created space in my body and my mind that allowed for the deep knowing that I had always experienced but always discounted to flood forth and lead me to where I was meant to go.
The internal knowing, the deep connection to my best self and to the magical happenings that I can only describe as divine are always there but often hidden. Learning to trust the internal compass takes a leap of faith into the spiritual. When I trust my gut and my instincts are correct it feels like I am spiritually rewarded with greater insight and clarity. I become a magnet for everything that I need or want and draw individuals my way who are seeking guidance on their journey. When I am operating in high vibing space it is pure joy! On the other hand when I’m out of sync with where the universe wants me to be I feel like I keep hitting road blocks until I finally surrender and take a detour until I get back on track.
While no two spiritual awakenings are alike it is important to know that we all have access to a world of deep inner peace and constant guidance if we just ask. Call it a feeling in your gut, your inner guide, the universe, God or your fairy godmother if you like. What you label your inner knowing is up to you but know that it is always there when you need it. To tap into spirit all that you need to do is trust that it is there, that it is guiding you and then make space the receive all that is and always has been coming your way.
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